It's raining outside (and in).

Saturday, May 14, 2011

It's getting worse. The last two days I haven't worked. I can't. I don't feel well, sleep well, eat well, or interact well.

I feel grey. Like Eeyore in Winnie-the-Pooh. Maybe it's the weather, allergies, maybe it's nerves, from over-working, maybe it's depression. Or maybe this is what being a grown-up feels like. I used to get excited about Grape Soda. Not so much anymore.

It's like it's gone. That carefree, the world is amazing, childlike outlook. It used to come so naturally and now I can hardly even force it. Being 25 sucks.

NEVER being able to forget also sucks. I TRY SO HARD. I have Hubby and he is wonderful, my job is the best, my life is really great and I'm happy. But it's always there, in the back of my mind. Why can't I conceive a child?...

It's getting worse. But it will get better. It has too.

6 bubble blowin' comments:

Eat. Live. Laugh. and sometimes shop! said...

I just want to squeeze you and give you the tightest hug ever. 25 can suck. So can any age. And growing up is hard. Losing the rosy outlook (usually due to changing perspectives) sucks, regardless of what age it occurs.

BUT it will get better. It always does. And then it gets worse. And then better and so on and so forth.

I am trying to be upbeat but I don't think it is coming across that way. I guess what I really should say is this: I know exactly where you are. I've been there and it does indeed suck. Infertility sucks. Learning life's hard lessons sucks. It does. But you will grow through this experience and emerge a stronger, better person. You will.

A huge cyber hug for you, sweet Katie Lane. I'm sorry you are experiencing this time. I can't promise the childlike outlook will return (it hasn't for me), but I do think the trials bring a new layer of character that, looking back, I wouldn't want to live without!

Brandi. said...

Hugs, girl! This weather is messing with my mind, too. :( I'm so sorry that you're feeling icky and really hope you get back to your old self very soon!

DT said...

I know the feeling.. :(
Take care.. things will get better.

Nicole said...

I can relate, I think it will get worse once I am married! But don't be sad! enjoy this time you have to yourself to be with your husband and HAVE FUN! =D

Mighty M said...

Hope you are feeling better. :( Being down, whatever the cause, is so hard and sucks everything out of you.

Jacky {The Sweetest Petunia} said...

Aw, Katie...I'm sorry girl. Hopefully life will be looking up for you soon! :) {{hugs}}

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