The "honeymoon" rule

Friday, April 10, 2009

I'm thinking out loud here bear with me.

Hubby and I have been married for 2 years. Someone will see us holding hands and ask how long we've been together. When we tell them they always say "I thought so." We also get the "how cute, you're still on your honeymoon" comments. And the dreaded, "just give it a few years and you will be throwing hair dryers around too."

What are these about? Is there some sort of unwritten rule that says after you have been married a set amount of time your relationship goes to crap? That you are no longer aloud to hold hands or kiss? Do you have to throw hair dryers?

Why is it that couples who have been together for 15 years feel their marital advise is more sound then ours. We are the ones still holding hands, they are the ones fighting every night. I don't know, it seems like we have the better relationship.

It seems to me that if the fighting couple would listen to the blissfully happy "honeymoon" couple the fighting couple might be able to solve a few problems and go on a "second honeymoon".

My grandparents have been married a long long time. They still hold hands. I've never seen them fight. In this case, yes listen to my grandparents marital advice over Hubby and I's. But I don't think time always makes it better. Wine tastes better with time, but most everything else molds or goes sour.

Are my grandparents a rare exception to the "honeymoon" rule? Is it possible that Hubby and I will remain to be this happy for the rest of our lives? Is it possible that neither of us will ever throw a hair dryer? It seems like a huge possibility to me. But what do I know. I've only been married for 2 years right.

6 bubble blowin' comments:

Serenity said...

Hubby and I have been married 19 years and we still hold hands and kiss and all that gushy stuff...Of course marriage isn't perfect and I have thrown my share of things (notice I said I did it not him haha) however we vowed never to go to bed angry at one another and it has worked...We have our fights however they are between us so they are never done in front of the kids or other people so a lot of people think we don't fight...Maybe your Grandparents do the same :o)

Xazmin said...

Holding hands and kissing doesn't have to end. And it's not necessarily that longer married couples stop being happy, but truly appreciating each other doesn't come as easily as when you are first married and the only people you have to look out for are each other.

When you have kids, they become first priority, and you have to work harder at remembering to consider each other's needs. Along with kids will come the realization that you were raised differently by your parents than each other, and you may not always agree on the best way to do things while raising your own children.

The love never has to fade, but don't take for granted that it will always come so easily either. If you want to be your grandparents 50 years down the road, then you will be.

I've been married for 13 years and have 4 children, and we've had our share of ups and downs. But we still hold hands, kiss and love each other very much. We're in this forever and we're both committed to working hard at staying happy.


isk8jewel said...

I LOVE this post because I think you're so right. My hubby and I have been married almost 3 years and while, yes, we've had our arguments, we're still very much in love and mushy. Parenthood has certainly put a strain on things but I think it's important to remember the things we fell in love with and take time to enjoy each other.

HoneyB said...

love this post! Grumpy and I have been together almost 10 years. I remember him telling me that the "newness" would wear off, but it never has. I may be tempted to throw a hair dryer at his Grumpy butt sometimes, but I still love him maybe even more now than I did then!

Heather said...

Hmmm, I'm not married 15 years yet (will be in January, so I guess *then* I'll be an expert) but my hubby and I still hold hands at 14+ years. So do my parents, who have been married 40 years.

I say those doom-n-gloom hair dryer throwers are just jealous!

:) Cheers!

Julie said...

I say if you're going to throw anything, throw butter. (just kidding of course)
Daily life can wear you down, but I believe it's possible not to let it get you down :)

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